Real Stories

I always wanted to be a dad, and I love being one. It is a huge part of who I am. But no one prepares you for just how overwhelming it can be, especially when you have three kids close together like we do.

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When our first was born, it honestly felt like a dream. We had this little family bubble, quiet walks by the river, and life was good. But when our second came along, everything changed. Suddenly there were tantrums, sleepless nights, and two kids needing us constantly. By the time our third arrived, I was running on fumes.

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_"...no one prepares you for just how overwhelming it can be..."

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I will never forget the day it all caught up with me. We were getting ready to head to a mate’s barbecue, the kids had been up since 4:30am, my wife had been breastfeeding all night, and I was trying to wrangle everyone out the door. We finally jumped in the car and stopped at the bottle shop on the way. As I pulled into the car park, I started shaking and couldn’t catch my breath. I had no idea what was happening until I realised I was having a panic attack.

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That moment hit me hard. I realised I could not keep pushing through, pretending I had it all under control.

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_"I realised I could not keep pushing through, pretending..."

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Since then, I have learned a lot about managing stress and looking after myself so I can show up better for my family. Exercise has been a huge one for me. Training is no longer optional. Moving my body keeps me grounded and calmer. Having a passion project helps too. For me, that is painting. Just twenty minutes while the kids are playing is enough to reset my mind. Connecting with other dads has also made a massive difference. Finding a group of blokes who get it has been life-changing.

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Most importantly, I have learned to communicate openly with my wife. If we can see each other reaching breaking point, we step in for one another. That teamwork has been key.

_"...I have learned to communicate openly with my wife...That teamwork has been key."

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I used to think being stressed meant I was failing as a dad. Now I know it just means I am human. Life with kids will always be messy, but it is how we manage the pressure that makes the difference.

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Arran and his family pose for a family portrait in nature.

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_"Life with kids will always be messy, but it is how we manage the pressure that makes the difference."

We'd like to thank

Arran

for generously sharing this story.

Learn more about mental health for partners

New dads and partners, this one's for you. The expectation to be a provider and a source of strength can be immense. It's easy to feel like you have to have all the answers and never show a sign of struggle, but that pressure can take a serious toll on your mental health. It's time to break the silence and get what you need, when you need it.

Your mental health matters: It's okay to feel overwhelmed. Your well-being is just as important as everyone else's, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. ‍
Find tailored support: There are resources specifically designed for fathers and partners. You deserve to get the help that meets your unique needs and experiences. ‍
A call to action for everyone: If you're a father, know that help is available. If you know a father, check in on him. This is how we work together to ensure everyone gets what they need, exactly when they need it.